My Little Pony Units Inc: User Guides and Manuals
by Octavia in Love
Summary: Thank you for purchasing one of our supreme deluxe My Little Pony units! Please click on your purchased unit from the options below to learn how to use your unit to its full potential and avoid dying at its hands.


**TWILIGHT SPARKLE: User Guide and Manual**

Congratulations on purchasing a TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit of your very own. To ensure that you use this unit safely and to the best of its' ability, please read below.

Name: She will respond to Twilight Sparkle and Twilight. Once you befriend her, you may be able to refer to her as Twiley, but trying this before you befriend her will ultimately result in pain and/or death.

Age: Based on intelligence and maturity, 25.

Place of Manufacture: Equestria, Canterlot.

Height: Default pony height.

Weight: Default pony weight.

Length: Default pony length.

**Your TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit comes with the following accessories**

One (1) SMARTY PANTS DOLL unit.

Ten (10) random book units. She will be very protective of these, and read them over and over, unless she is in _PsychoTwi_ mode-see below.

One (1) Grand Galloping Gala dress.

And if you have previously purchased our ELEMENTS OF HARMONY pack, coming free with the (only thirty (30) dollars) MANE 6 BUNDLE PACK

One (1) Element of Magic Tiara.

**Programming**

Your TWILIGHT SPARKLE is capable of doing the following:

Teacher: Your TWILIGHT SPARKLE is very smart, and in the presence of any _Foal_ unit or a human child, she will immediately start teaching them. (If _PsychoTwi_ mode is activated while teaching, she will try and persuade the child to play with her SMARTY PANTS DOLL unit, or harm them. It is not recommended to activate _PsychoTwi_ mode while she is teaching.)

Suck Up: If you take your TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit to school or work, she will start talking to your boss/principal/teacher about work or school.

Helpful Brilliant: If your TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit sees that you or someone else is having trouble with a academic task, she will help them.

**Removal of your TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit from packaging**

Your TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit is one of our nicest units, but everybody has bad moods. It is not advised to simply rip open the packaging, as she may be in a dangerous mode or in a bad mood.

1. Take any of the book units and start reading them aloud. Be sure to make some mistakes. She will hopefully come out on her own and start helping you. She may even become your friend. Recommended.

2. Hug the SMARTY PANTS DOLL unit. If she sees you being nice to her beloved SMARTY PANTS DOLL unit, she may come out and join you. Also recommended.

3. Tear up or rip any of the books. Seeing this, she will punch her way out of the packaging and deliver a lethal attack of magic onto the person harming her book. It is recommended to make an enemy do this.

4. Instruct any of the other MANE 6 units to open the box. She will come out. However, if said MANE 6 unit has something bad to say about you, you're dead.

5. Simply read a book out loud. Your TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit may come out and join you.

6. Pretend to have trouble with work. Your TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit will go into _Helpful_ mode-see below- and help you with your work.

**Reprogramming**

Your TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit comes equipped with the following modes:

_Brilliant_ (Default)

_Kind_ (Default)

_Sarcastic_ (Default)

_Encouraging_

_Protective_

_Horny_

_Sad_

_PsychoTwi_

_Evil_ (Locked)

Your TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit comes in _Brilliant_, _Kind_, and _Sarcastic_ modes by default. These are the recommended settings for your TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit, as they will enable her to help and assist you with any mental task.

If you would like to change her mode, here are the ways to get her into each mode:

_Encouraging: _ Leave her around any units in _Sad _ or _Defeated _mode, and she will go into _Encouraging _mode to help them. Or, just leave her around any unit or human that is sad or having trouble with something, then she will automatically go into _Encouraging _mode.

_Horny:_ Wait for pony mating season. When she's in this mode, she will abandon all mental capacities and just try and do it with any pony unit. If an unfortunate, good-looking human is in the room, he or she will learn a lot about ponies' more intimate parts...In addition, it is not possible for your TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit to get pregnant, as far as we know, so she does not care about trivial things such as condoms and safety. To get her out of this mode...well, let's just say that you'll learn an interesting lesson on the merits of bestiality.

_Sad_: This mode can be unlocked by brainwashing your MANE 6 units to be evil, mainly using a DISCORD, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY AND CHAOS unit. Or, if you like, show her that she is a robot with no actually magical capacities and her "cutie mark" means nothing. In this mode, she will mope around and a stormcloud will appear above her head.

_Protective_: In this mode, your TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit will be incredibly protective of any of the MANE SIX PACK, SPIKE THE DRAGON, or PRINCESS CELESTIA. This mode is unlocked by hurting one of her friends.

_PsychoTwi_: This mode is dangerous, but not as bad as _Evil_ mode. This mode is activated by your TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit being tardy for a friendship report to a PRINCESS CELESTIA unit, or not doing well at any academic task. In this mode, she may talk to inanimate objects or try and make foals play with her SMARTY PANTS DOLL unit.

_Evil_: This mode is extremely dangerous, and locked by default. The only known ways to cause it are: shut your TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit in with an_ Insane _PINKEMENA DIANE PIE unit or any other _Insane_ unit. In this mode, she will go completely insane, and we suggest, that when she's in this mode, get the heck out of there before she kills you.

**Relationships with other units**

PRINCESS CELESTIA: She is very close to this unit, as she is PRINCESS CELESTIA unit's protege. Chance of romance with this one is high.

MANE SIX PACK: The Mane Six are her best friends, so she is close to all of them. The chance of romance is moderately high with any of the MANE SIX PACK.

SPIKE THE DRAGON: Our SPIKE THE DRAGON unit is like a son to her. She will hurt anyone who would try to hurt him. There is no chance of romance with this one, just familial love.

**Cleaning**

Unless you wish to start a romance with your TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit, she can clean herself just fine, thank you very much.

**Rest**

Your TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit may stay up all night reading or doing research. She will normally go to sleep at about 12 PM in your timezone and wake up at around 6 AM in your timezone, unless she is staying up all night, at which point all best are off and we cannot predict her sleep, or lack of, habits.

**Frequently Asked Questions**

Q. Why did my TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit just run out the door with her SMARTY PANTS DOLL unit in her mouth?

A. Congratulations, you've unlocked _PsychoTwi_ mode. We would suggest showing her the error of her ways through compassion and kindness, or just chasing her down.

Q. My TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit is having a threesome with my PRINCESS CELESTIA and SPIKE THE DRAGON units, how do I stop this?

A. She's in _Horny_ mode. See above for the known ways to get her out of _Horny _mode.

**Troubleshooting**

Problem: Instead of an adult sized TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit, you have received a small filly TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit who keeps shooting sparks from her horn and does not have a cutie mark.

Solution: Uh-oh! We accidentally sent you a FILLY TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit. If you would like to get your ordered unit instead, please call customer support.

**Customer Feedback**

Customer One: I absolutely love my TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit. She is helpful and kind.

Customer Two: My TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit is a genius! She's helped me get at least three promotions at work since I got her a year ago!

Customer Three: My TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit does my homework for me!

**End Notes**

If you treat your TWILIGHT SPARKLE unit with care and compassion, she will be a kind and brilliant friend who can assist you in almost any task!

**Warning: **If you do not treat your Twilight Sparkle unit with care and compassion, she will bring hell crashing down on you.


End file.
